


Knocking on Heaven's Door (after Twist and Shout)

by Tashikani



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Smut, Little bit of angst, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 09:17:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7165193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tashikani/pseuds/Tashikani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel becomes an angel after he died, and when Dean's personal heaven disappears, his questions remain unanswered. And then Dean appears, years after, on Earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knocking on Heaven's Door (after Twist and Shout)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gabriel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriel/gifts), [standbyme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/standbyme/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Twist and Shout](https://archiveofourown.org/works/537876) by [gabriel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gabriel/pseuds/gabriel), [standbyme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/standbyme/pseuds/standbyme). 



> At first, this was just a way for me to get over the tragedy that is Twist and Shout, and a way for me to write shameless smut that isn't 100% plotless, and felt the need to publish it. Enjoy~!

After Castiel had died, everything was light for a while. It was like living in a dream, a dream in which Dean never went to war, and they were together and happy in those nine years they had been apart, and Castiel has never gotten sick. 

That illusion was shattered with time, and Castiel was ripped from what he later learned was his heaven. Those of which are improved now, and he wouldn't feel like he was in a constant dreamstate if he had gone back. He didn't, though. The other angels told Castiel how they couldn't remember anything before being who they were as an angel, and he wondered, worried, if after hundreds, millions of years, he would forget Dean. At the thought every time he had it, pain lanced through him. 

He speculated that the other angels had been human at one point, too, although it would have been long, long before Castiel's time. It also surprised him how inhuman they were compared to him. Even after Castiel had received his wings and his grace and had actually become an angel, he still thought. He felt, and he cared. Perhaps the only difference, he figured, was that he didn't sleep. He didn't even get tired, so he didn't dream, nor did he eat or drink or require shelter. Not that it was needed in heaven, anyway. 

Because of Castiel's unexpected humanity, he watched the human world constantly around his regular duties as an angel. He wasn't sure what he was looking for or what the point was to it completely, but he would watch the people who reminded him dearly of his beloved grow up, get married, have a family, live and die happy. It almost brought him some kind of closure, although not as much as when Dean finally died, and Castiel popped into his heaven every once in a while, just a shadow and Deja Vu on Dean's part, to see how he was, finding that the heaven was achingly familiar. They shared the same heaven; they were each others' heavens. 

So, when Dean's heaven disappeared, Castiel was torn apart. He couldn't see Dean anymore, why? Where had he gone? Was it even after death that Castiel had to be forced away from Dean? 

None of the other angels ever answered Castiel's pleas for answers, for an explanation as to why his former lovers' heaven was removed. He never did get an answer, until he saw Dean, on Earth. It wasn't Dean, though, it couldn't have been. This Dean was modern, living in 2063, not 1965. How had the time gone? The thought stunned Castiel a bit, but not as much as seeing Dean in that /tight/ navy blue t-shirt and light wash jeans. But... That was undeniably Dean. 

Castiel rushed away, to go consult a higher up. He spoke with responses ringing in his head. Angel radio on private. Hm. "I want to take a vessel and go to Earth," he said, having learned that just being blunt was a very angel-like thing to do, and anything else would be abnormally human. 

He frowned. "But where does this experience come from if I don't go down there? I am an angel of the Lord. I act with the purpose of fulfilling God's will," he spoke clearly, hoping beyond hope he could. It had been too long, and he never truly got to see Dean again, not even after he had entered heaven where Castiel already was, because Castiel was already an angel. 

Relief flooded through him, and suddenly he had nerves digging in his gut. He was going to see Dean again. With a new face, yes, but his love... He was going to see the love of his life again. 

Finding a vessel was... hard. Harder than Castiel had expected, but the man had faith, and he accepted Castiel, even though said angel felt enormously guilty for taking the man away from his wife. 

Earth had changed immensely since Castiel Novak had died. And, by extension, so had Dean. This Dean was not his Dean. Not the Dean Winchester that went to Vietnam and left Castiel without even a warning, a single goodbye. This was not the Dean that stayed by a dying Castiel's side, and played videos of their time on the beach. But, this Dean... 

Castiel was searching for Dean to best of his angelic ability allowed him to where he had last seen him from heaven. Castiel hadn't been expecting to knock Dean down in the middle of the street. 

"I'm terribly sorry, sir," Castiel said as he stood, holding a hand out for the man he'd just knocked down. The feel of Dean's hand in Castiel's alerted Castiel to whom he was before that low, gravelly voice did. It sent a shock through his entire body that he hadn't felt in forever. Those things... The shape of Dean's body, and his voice. Those things don't seem to have changed after all these years. "Don't worry," he said, in a way that made Castiel melt. "It was my fault." 

Dean's hand was still clasped in Castiel's when Dean stood again, and then their eyes met... Well, Castiel hadn't seen those eyes so vibrant in a long time. Dean's mouth slack open, very out of character for him, but Castiel appreciated it. New Dean. Dean eventually cleared his throat and looked away, squeezing Castiel's hand and finally dropping it. Castiel frowned a bit to himself at the loss of contact. 

They stared at each other for an extended amount of time until Dean finally asked, "Are you busy?" Castiel furrowed his eyebrows but smiled a bit anyway. "No, not at all," he replied, hope burning in his chest. Yes, please. Notice me, Dean. Said Winchester cleared his throat again before speaking. Was he nervous? "Would you like to... to go to lunch, or something? It's the least I can do," Dean asked tentatively. Castiel was surprised, but delighted and he smiled for the first time in a very long time. "It would be my pleasure," he said softly, motioning for Dean to lead the way. Dean situated a black leather messenger bag on his shoulder and turned back around the way he had come, Castiel following behind. 

Dean led them inside of a small diner tucked in between other larger buildings. He sat at the bar and tapped it, a dirty blonde waitress approaching him. It wasn't Jo (not that he'd known her very well, but this most definitely wasn't her), but she resembled Jo, in a way. Her nametag read "Callie". "What can I get you and your friend, Dean?" Callie asked with a slight twang in her voice. Must be from the south. 

So he was a regular. Some things never changed. He thought it was polite of her to acknowledge him, though, as well. Hm. "The usual, Callie, just two this time. Thanks," he said in a friendly tone. Callie smiled as she jotted a few things down and walked away. 

Dean turned to Castiel, finally, and leaned his elbow on the bar, his head against his hand, and smirked a very Dean Winchester smirk. "Obviously, the name's Dean. Dean Winchester. But you haven't told me yours," Dean said, nudging Castiel's knee with his own. The contact made Castiel's whole body heat up. Wow. 

For a fleeting moment, Castiel wondered why Dean's name had remained the same, and how other people would react to them being together, but these were different times. Homosexuality was accepted and Castiel was overjoyed. Then, of course, he realized Den was waiting for an answer. "Castiel," he answered, begging God that the sound of the name would trigger something in Dean, but not no recognition lit up Dean's features and Castiel fought off disappointment. 

Callie, the waitress, returned with strawberry milkshakes and a large plate of fries. Castiel almost choked up right there. She smiled sweetly at the both of them, her eyes lingering on Castiel for just a moment too long, and then scuttled off without another word. Not another Hester, Castiel begged, oh please not another Hester. Castiel sucked on the milkshake without a word and Dean's eyes locked onto Castiel's lips around the straw, a fire in his eyes. One that Castiel had learned however long ago. He smirked a bit to himself and set the cup down, meeting Dean's eyes. 

"Are you queer?" Castiel asked suddenly. When Dean's eyes widened infinitesimally, he cleared his throat and tried again. He had to be. "I mean, are you homosexual?" 

Dean's eyes lit up and he laughed, throwing his head back a bit while his chest rumbled. "Wow, Cas, what era are you living in? Am I gay? Sure. Yeah, I am," Dean spoke to Castiel casually, letting the nickname slip past his lips without even thinking about it. Of course, the sound of the words off of Dean's tongue made Castiel... well, he was frozen in place. "Cas?" He repeated as a question, smiling sadly at Dean. Dean shrugged almost nervously. "It's just a nickname," He responded with a shy smile, not noticing Castiel's melancholy. But it's so much more than just a nickname, Dean. 

"Why would you ask?" Dean began, leaning towards Castiel in his seat. Castiel shrugged. "Inexperience?" He offered, speaking the word as more of a question than a statement and Dean's eyes widened once again. New Dean? Definitely. Not that Castiel minded at all. 

"Is this your first date?" Dean asked in disbelief. Deja Vu. Not that angels got Deja Vu. Definitely did not. Castiel shrugged very noncommittal. "With a face like yours? Wow, must make me special then, hm?" Dean said, dipping a fry in his milkshake before popping it into his mouth. Very Dean. Castiel smiled to himself as he took another sip of his milkshake. 

"Well, Cas, you could at least let me drive you home," Dean said as they finished their unsubstantial meal. Panic set in Castiel's gut. What home? No Earthly plane home to speak of. He couldn't just tell Dean he was homeless or something, that would be stupid. Time to do something bold, Castiel figured. He looked up at Dean, hoping beyond hope it would work with this Dean as well as his own, blinked a couple times and brushed his knee against Dean's, the same heat resetting itself in his body. Oh... wow. "Or... you could take me to yours," Castiel suggested ever-so-subtly. Not one for class, are you Castiel? he thought to himself. What other choice did he have? He couldn't just leave Dean now. Dean's mouth was agape and he dug in his pocket, pulling out a wallet, throwing a twenty down and taking Castiel's hand, pulling him outside. Oh, god, if he was going to get this shock of electricity and burning flood in his gut everytime Dean touched him, things were going to be very interesting. That's a yes, then? 

Castiel half expected a bike like he had, but no such luck. The car Dean pulled Castiel to was a black impala. Wow. He needed to stop saying wow. Dean opened the passengers side for Castiel and closed it behind him, then walked around to the drivers side, slamming the door behind him and clutched the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. Castiel waited. Dean looked at him through his impossibly long lashes that didn't change. 

"I don't usually do this sort of thing. I mean--! I do, but..." Dean rambled a bit, jaw clenching and unclenching. "I wouldn't buy you lunch first. Or take you home. Or be dying to jump your bones in that seat right now or be dying to kiss you. This sort of thing doesn't happen to me," Dean explained and Castiel gasped, sucking in a breath and cautiously leaned across the console, bringing a hand up to hold Dean's face as he touched his lips to Dean's ever-so-softly. It was slow, and there wasn't any tongue and light exploded behind Castiel's eyes. He's never felt more alive, more human, than he had in that moment, kissing Dean again for the first time in years. He hoped Dean felt the same way. 

Castiel pulled away with a herculean effort and leaned his forehead against Dean's, closing his eyes. "I've wanted to do that since I bumped into you in the street two hours ago, dammit, Dean. What is it you've done to me?" Castiel whispered, moving back into his own personal space. "Drive, please." Castiel felt like he was on fire. Dean nodded and pulled out of the parking lot, and speeding onto the main road. 

Dean wasn't driving long before he pulled into an apartment building that wasn't 5-star but very Dean. He parked towards the end and leaned back against his seat heavily, closing his eyes. "I parked there so I could walk to the bank and deposit my inheritance. It's been weeks and I've been putting in off and then... And then I ran into you," Dean explained. Castiel was intrigued. "Why is it that I've been so empty before now?" Dean said the words in a breath as he sighed. Castiel figured he probably shouldn't have heard them. "Come inside with me," Dean said as he climbed out of the car and circled the hood to Castiel's side and pulled the door open for him. 

Castiel climbed out and followed Dean upstairs and inside of his apartment. It was all pale blues and stark whites. There was a half-eaten pizza on the coffee table in front of the couch and a pie in the kitchen. Castiel chuckled to himself as Dean took his jacket off and tossed it onto the black couch. He strode up to Castiel suddenly and wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist, pulling him up against Dean's impressively toned chest and kissed him. His lips were insistent but soft and Castiel sighed in content. His arms came up to clutch at Dean's arms, holding tight. Take me to bed, Castiel's mind screamed out, and apparently Dean got the message, because he walked with Castiel to a bedroom that Castiel had no time to admire for being so similar to Dean's tastes because he was tasting Dean. 

Dean pushed the trenchcoat that Castiel didn't even know he was wearing off of his shoulders and slipped his hands under Castiel's white button up, groaning at the feel of the skin underneath. There was fire spreading from Dean's fingers whenever he touched Castiel's icy skin, and the angel was thawing with every touch. 

Dean turned and walked Castiel backwards until the backs of his knees hit the bed and he fell back onto it, Dean falling gracefully right along with him, still kissing him with a fever. Dean felt what could only be described as desperation to be closer to Castiel, to touch him, to feel him as much as possible, as if they didn't have the time to waste. Castiel felt this as Dean's hands got faster, more frantic and shaky when unbuttoning Castiel's shirt and pulling it off of his shoulders. Dean leaned back to take in Castiel's body and groaned low, then connected his lips to Castiel's neck, kissing and sucking as he moved to the smooth curve of the angel's shoulders and his collarbone, worshiping Castiel with his mouth. 

Castiel pulled Dean's face up to his suddenly, smiling sadly because he knew why Dean was so desperate to do this quickly, but Castiel wanted to savor their time together while he could, because there was a chance Castiel wouldn't be able to see him again. Dean furrowed his eyebrows a bit. It was so cute when he did that, even though he seemed troubled at Castiel's reaction. Castiel ran his fingertips down Dean's face, paying special attention to his sculpted jawline that made Castiel's inside s melt. "I've been waiting for you all this time..." He murmured more to himself than to Dean, whose face only grew more confused. Castle shook his head and kissed Dean again, softly like he had in the car, reveling in the feel of Dean's lips against his own, their bodies pressed together, Dean's arousal pressing into the top of Castiel's thigh. Dean's tongue probed against Castiel's mouth gently, Dean's flavor and intoxicating smell flooding Castiel's senses as he touched his tongue to Dean's and gasped. 

Dean pushed his hips into Castiel's, causing the friction from the both of their erections and Castiel whispered into Dean's mouth. Dean smirked against Castiel's lips as said angel ran his hands up Dean's arms to his shoulders and down his chest to his abdomen and then tugged at the hem of his t-shirt. Dean got the message and broke his hold in Castiel to tug the shirt off effortlessly. 

Castiel, without warning, pulled Dean's knees out and flipped him. So, superhuman strength had its perks. He chuckled to himself at Dean's shocked expression and slid his hand down Dean's now exposed torso. The dominance he held over his former lover made his head fuzzy. It was rare in their past when Castiel was actually the one doing the fucking but this time... this time Dean doesn't know him and Castiel knows all the little things that drives this man insane with need. He planned to exploit that knowledge. 

Castiel's hand traced the curves of Dean's abs, his breathing erratic and he pushed his hips up to grind against Castiel's, whimpering. Castiel brushed his fingers along the waistband of Dean's jeans, watching him squirm, the satisfaction stirring in his stomach. Castiel drew out the process of undoing the button and pulling the zipper down and digging his teeth into his lip while he did. Castiel pushed his hand in further, palming Dean through the fabric of his boxers. Dean pushed his head back against the pillow below his head, squeezing his eyes shut tight and letting out a strangled moan. The feel of Dean's cock spiked a need in Castiel that pulled at his chest, attaching strings to his limbs and pulling him. 

"What do you want, Dean?" Castiel whispered at his ear in a gravelly voice. Dean moaned his response and Castiel applied more pressure from his hand to the prominent hard on in his boxers, pulling more sweet noise from his throat. 

Dean ran his hands down Castiel's sides, which forced a gasp out of him and the touch seared his skin. Dean reached his destination when he found the button on Castiel's pants and undid them quickly, although with fumbling fingers. Castiel chuckled lowly and brought his mouth up to Dean's ear, biting the shell and kissing below it softly as he worked his hand in a rhythm on Dean's cock through his boxers. Dean's hands shook as he pulled off Castiel's pants. Dean didn't understand why he was so nervous, he just met this person, and he was acting like... Like it was leading into something more, and he wondered, well, why shouldn't he? Want more? Castiel is... Dean was in awe. 

Castiel pulled his hand away suddenly, and Dean whined at the loss of contact, digging his nails into Castiel's hips. The angel held Dean's face with both hands, forcing green eyes to new blue. "Don't be so nervous," Castiel murmured, brushing his thumb along Dean's cheekbone and smiling gently. "We have all the time in the world, so don't worry about a thing, and I won't make you wait for me again." Saying that, of course, confused Dean, but it was something he'd wanted to tell his Dean after he'd died, and Dean waited, and waited, and waited... and then he died, too. 

Dean sighed, relief flooding him. He hadn't even realized how he was acting, and moved forward to kiss Castiel, because he did know. He noticed. Castiel happily kissed back and brought his knee between Dean's legs, nudging the still-hard bulge straining against the fabric of his boxers. Dean gasped against Castiel's mouth, and then their tongues were twisting together, greedily drinking in everything from each other. Castiel suddenly pulled back and took Dean's lip between his teeth, tugging and Dean groaned at the bit of pain that sent a shock straight to the head of his cock. 

Dean was pushing down against Castiel's knee, rutting desperately to find the friction he needed. Castiel smirked a bit and released Dean's lip, licking his own and sucking lightly down his neck, nibbling the soft spot where his shoulder curves and biting the end of his collarbone, leaving teeth marks and love bites as he went. So what if Dean looked like some horny teenager? So what if either of them did. Castiel's hands traveled again, down Dean's perfectly sculpted, absolutely delectable body, nibbling at his own lip as he met Dean's eyes and slid his fingers tantalizingly below the elastic band of his boxers and brushed the head of his cock lightly. Dean threw his head back against the pillow, pushing his hips up into Castiel's expert hand. His face was flushed red and his mouth was slightly ajar, letting out small noises whenever Castiel moved his fingers, drifting along Dean's shaft. 

Dean huffed and held Castiel's shoulders tightly, digging his nails into the skin responsively. Castiel panted beside Dean's ear, whining as he grinded against the man's leg. "You're so sexy, I'm this hard just watching you. Do you feel this, what you've done to me?" Castiel purred through his heavy breathing. Dean let out a strangled cry and arched his back into Castiel's hand, running his nails down Castiel's back and pulling his hips forward, growling. Castiel hissed at the small bit of pain, but it nothing. The scratches faded like they were nothing. "Stop fucking teasing, and--!" Dean began in a strained voice, but cut off by a loud moan that echoed off the walls. Castiel smirked and nuzzled Dean's neck, sucking on his soft spot. "What is it that you need from me, hmm?" Castiel murmured as he pushed his erection into Dean's thigh again, drawing his attention to it. "Tell me." 

Dean whined in Castiel's ear and pulled the angel's face to his own, kissing him desperately. "I want... I need you inside of me," Dean half whispered, half moaned against Castiel's lips. Castiel smiled softly and kissed Dean. "Supplies, Dean. Do you have it, or shall I prepare you myself?" Castiel's words were breathy and he raised a questioning eyebrow. Dean flushed bright red. Of course he did, but did he want to? Castiel was most definitely capable of... 

Dean shook his head and Castiel had a knowing glint in his eyes. Castiel ran his hands down Dean's sides and slipped his thumbs under the elastic of boxers, tugging them off to Dean's ankles in one swift motion, then reached up and touched his bottom lip with two fingers, Dean apparently getting the message and taking Castiel's fingers in his mouth and coating them with his tongue, all the while sucking hard. Castiel groaned and Dean felt pride flare up in his chest at being able to please him this way. Castiel pulled his fingers back suddenly and covered Dean's mouth with his own, pressing his knee between Dean's legs again and probing at his entrance. Dean's breath hitched and Castiel rested his forehead on Dean's shoulder, sliding in one slick finger. He felt Dean tighten around him immediately, and he wondered how long it had been since he'd been with another man, if he had at all. "Is this your first time with a man?" He asked softly, and Dean gasped at his ear. Castiel kissed his shoulder absentmindedly and Dean nodded. Castiel smiled. He hadn't had the pleasure of being Dean's first back then. It surprised him, though, unless he was assuming Dean was older than he actually was. Either way, Castiel knew how to please this man without hurting him. "Relax, love," he murmured, pushing in finger at a slow, constant pace. In, out, in out.

Dean's breathing was heavy, hot at Castiel's ear and he did relax, and another finger was slid inside easily, following the slow rhythm Castiel had set, and Dean tightened around him again. He gasped softly and had his eyes shut tight, chest rising and falling rapidly. Castiel twisted his fingers and changed his angle, motioning inside of Dean to brush against the bunch of nerves buried there, and Dean arched off the bed, pushing down against Castiel's fingers as he did it again, Dean letting out a strangled cry, some incomprehensible word. "Cas..." he breathed out heavily and Castiel's breath hitched. Oh, it had been a while, hadn't it? "Dean," Castiel moaned, moving to kiss him again. He motioned against Dean's prostate again and Dean had the same reaction, arching off the bed and a scream tore it's way from Dean's throat. One hand gripped the sheets below him and the other was under Castiel's arm, digging in with his nails. 

Castiel kissed Dean again, desperate to taste him. He couldn't get enough. He pulled his fingers out abruptly and Castiel swallowed the protest Dean made. He kissed along Dean's jawline, down his neck, across his collarbone down his sternum and abdomen, and across his hips, down the top of his thigh and Dean was eyeing Castiel with hungry eyes. He hitched Dean's legs over his shoulders and licked the inside of his thigh on a path to the puckered asshole waiting for him. Dean's face was flushed bright red and his hair clung to his forehead with the sweat that covered it. Castiel licked around the rim of it tentatively, and then against it in broad strokes. Dean was letting out little cries and whines and Castiel adored them. He stroked his thumb against the back on Dean's upper thigh reassuringly as he pushed his tongue inside just a bit and Dean wiggled his hips. 

Castiel pulled away a bit and licked the rim again, and Dean whined. "Cas..." He whispered hoarsely and Castiel set him down, hovering above with his hands beside Dean's head. Dean reached down between them and tugged at Castiel's boxers, frowning. The angel chuckled and slid out of them, tossing them away from them and adjusted himself above Dean again, brushing their lips together and positioning at his entrance. "You tell me if I'm hurting you, alright?" He said in a thick voice. Dean nodded and Castiel buried his face in the crook of Dean's neck as he pushed inside of Dean slowly, whom if which tightened around Castiel and began panting in Castiel's ear, his heart beating erratic and echoing with the other's, beating together. 

Dean felt like he was being ripped apart, and it burned, and his hips felt strange. Not exactly painful, just uncomfortable. He moaned through his heavy breathing, and his chest tightened. He shouldn't let those things, those stupid things affect him, but they did and wow, did it fucking hurt. He held Castiel against him, probably scratching up his back in the process, but when Castiel was all the way inside him and stilled, he didn't care because it felt /so good/. He felt full, complete, and yeah, he'd made out with guys before, but never... and it was extraordinary. How Castiel doesn't even know him and he's so gentle, caring, and acts like he /does/ know him, because he knows exactly what Dean is thinking. After a minute of Castiel's shaky legs against Dean's, he knew that Castiel was having a hard time with his self-control and the pain ebbed away, he nodded and spoke in a voice drowning in the lust he felt. "You... can move," he sucked in his breath when Castiel moved back immediately and trusted back in quick and deep, and Dean's moan echoed off of the small walls. 

Castiel pulled back again and thrust sharply back inside of Dean, setting that pace until Dean was pushing back to meet him halfway, letting out small cries through his panting. Dean was tight, and Castiel... He was being overstimulated, and then Dean bit his ear. Castiel gasped in, and moaned out, whispering Dean's name like a prayer. "Dean..." He said, kissing the man's shoulder. Dean wrapped his legs around Castiel's waist and Castiel set a new, faster pace, adjusting the angle he was at and reaching down to stroke Dean's cock when a scream tore from Dean's throat. "Yes! Cas--Castiel, nngh, yes, right there," Dean babbled once Castiel brushed his prostate. He continued hitting that spot that was making Dean call out his name in the same ravaged tone he had before, and Castiel basked in the sound of it. "Cas," Dean called in his ear, and Castiel swiped his thumb across the slit as he worked Dean's cock in one hand, spreading the pre-cum that was leaking. Dean was rocking against Castiel's thrusts and holding the arm that was holding Castiel upright with one hand, using the other to run his hands through Castiel's hair and tug him down to meet his lips roughly, sloppily. Their teeth clicked, but Dean's lips were still soft and welcoming and his tongue assaulted Castiel's as they swallowed each others' words and sounds that were made. 

Castiel could feel the warmth coil in his gut and tighten as he got closer, his head becoming fuzzier. He leaned his forehead against Dean's, breaking the kiss and Dean was calling his name all over again. "Cas... oh my god, Cas, Cas..." He said throughout, and then he came suddenly with a cry and the thick white streams coated both of their chests. Castiel continued pushing on through Dean's orgasm, then pulled out and came, exploding and biting Dean's shoulder where he had rested his head. 

Castiel rolled off of Dean once they'd both finished and just laid there, catching their breaths. Dean, however, Castiel noted, was still breathing heavily after a few minutes. He curled around Castiel and it hit him. He felt tears prick at the edges of his eyes, feeling more human in that moment than he had since he'd died. He could /smell/ it. He pushed his fingers through Dean's hair and kissed his forehead. "Dean," He whispered, his voice thick. Dean looked up at him a bit, his face still flushed, brows furrowed. 

"What is it?" he asked quietly. Castiel held his breath. How could he approach this without revealing... everything. "You... you're..." Castiel's words cut off and Dean paid him his undivided attention, propping himself up on his elbows. Castiel laughed humorlessly, resting his forehead against Dean's, defeated. "I can fix it, I can, but Dean, it's been so long and we've both been waiting, we always end up having to wait for each other, and it's so ironic, isn't it? Cruel and ironic and these things keep happening to us? We deserve another chance without these kinds of things in the way," Castiel ranted, single tears trickling. 

Dean felt panic flare up in his chest and he wiped away at the tears that fell down Castiel's cheeks. "What are you talking about, Cas? What's wrong?" Dean's voice came out quickly as he tried to understand. What the hell was Castiel talking about? They'd met five hours ago. Castiel sighed, and Dean had a nagging feeling that he knew why, although it was impossible. How could he possibly be able to tell that? "I know, Dean. I know, and I'm so, so sorry," Castiel said, bringing his hand down to rest on Dean's chest. Dean frowned and took Castiel's chin, making him look up, but Castiel's eyes only glistened with a pain that Dean couldn't comprehend. Castiel had old eyes, eyes that Dean could drown in. 

Castiel raised his hand to Dean's face, feeling his stubble rub pleasantly against his palm, and brushed the hair stuck to his forehead out of his eyes. He touched Dean's forehead with two hands and the smell disappeared so easily it was like it wasn't there at all and Castiel's heart soared. 

Dean could breathe easier than he had in years, oxygen filling his lungs completely and he stared at Castiel in awe. It was all gone. He could breathe. Castiel smiled sadly at him. "I'm an angel of the Lord," he whispered. Before Dean could question it, he continued. "It hasn't been that long, but, Dean, I'm not... I didn't want to have to tell you, but when I... I know and you don't deserve it, not after... Dean, I watched you /die/. Without me," Castiel said and Dean still didn't understand. It wasn't possible. It wasn't real. Dean had never been a man of faith, so this was ridiculous. 

Castiel allowed Dean to pull away when he'd tried to move and Dean stared blankly at Castiel, who was pleading for him to understand. "Is this why I feel this way?" Dean whispered tightly, feeling anger burn in his gut. "Why do I feel so attached to you? Why do I feel like I know you so well?" Castiel gave him that sad smile again. "This isn't the first time I've seen you, Dean, in the flesh, but things were different then and have changed now and... you're here and I've saved you," Castiel explained quickly. 

Dean couldn't comprehend this. Not the way he needed to, and he was exhausted and his lower back ached. He just wanted Castiel to hold him and sleep. Dean curled up against Castiel again, reveling in his ability to breathe. "We can talk about it in the morning," he said, giving in to the pull he felt in his chest. Castiel sighed, relieved, and wrapped his arms around Dean, content. He didn't have to sleep, of course, but Dean did, and he definitely was asleep quickly. Castiel chuckled at the idea that he had exhausted his lover. "I love you," he murmured happily in Dean's hair, knowing full well that the man in his arms couldn't hear him. 

Dean hadn't dreamed in forever, his time asleep was black, dark, oblivion, but that night, wrapped up in Castiel's arms, he opened his eyes to clouds, and Castiel. /His/ Castiel. Wait... His? He'd only just met him, but everything was achingly familiar. 

Castiel was sitting criss-cross surrounded by Polaroids that he recognized but couldn't place. Elvis played faintly in a way that he could only just hear, a song he knew but couldn't place. 

"Cas?" Dean called out softly, and Castiel looked up slowly, beaming in a way that made Dean's heart flutter. Tears pooled in his brilliant eyes and Dean felt himself smile back. "Finally, you've come home to me," Castiel said as he set the picture he was holding to the side and offered his hand. Dean took it and Castiel's hand was warm, and the feeling caused electricity to run up Dean's spine. 

Dean sat across from Castiel, also criss-cross, looking at the Polaroids that made his heart ache with nostalgia in a way that he didn't understand, but just sitting there, watching Castiel happily look through them and hum out the Elvis that played made him feel whole to the point that Dean didn't want to be anywhere else.


End file.
